Black Bear Casino Resort Hotel

Sunday Morning Thread Brought To By The Black Bear Casino And Resort Of The General Vicinity Of Carlton, Minnesota

submitted by Joshsoma to CFBOffTopic [link] [comments]

TIL The record for the world's largest hamburger is 2,014 pounds and was prepared by the Black Bear Casino Resort in Carlton, Minnesota.

TIL The record for the world's largest hamburger is 2,014 pounds and was prepared by the Black Bear Casino Resort in Carlton, Minnesota. submitted by Trolling_4_Eva to todayilearned [link] [comments]

The /r/hockey Trade Deadline Game - Day 2 Thread

NOTE: This is FAKE HOCKEY. To talk about actual hockey, go to the latest Daily Discussion thread
Trade Deadline Tonight will continue TONIGHT!
The /hockey Trade Deadline Game is back for day 2! Starting today at 8:00 AM MT trading is officially open again. Trading will run until Thursday, January 30th at 6:00 PM MT.
You are not late! You can still sign up at http://www.tdgdb.com
When you are traded, change your flair on hockey-related subreddits and spend the week from January 31st through February 7th cheering for your new team.
Here are this year's reporters, the people who will make things up break news of trade negotiations:
But remember

NO TRADE IS OFFICIAL UNTIL POSTED IN THIS THREAD!

It's not too late to sign up to be a player The sign-up form is still active and will remain open until Wednesday night. You can find that here
For TDG-related shenanigans, go here [WARNING: some NSFW Language]
Happy trading!
coloradoavalanche receives xelrano from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives illwill18 from coloradoavalanche
Detroit receives a 3 of the Rocky Mountains, Breckenridge Brewery.
Colorado receives Windsor Ontario.
coloradoavalanche receives Muckerofbin from edmontonoilers
coloradoavalanche receives SCwinningJultz from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives asswaffle420 from coloradoavalanche
edmontonoilers receives CloutWaffle from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receive a used oil derrick, straight from the prairies.
canucks receives TheOlDickTwister from detroitredwings
canucks receives SevenStringGod from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives JordanTheLobster from canucks
detroitredwings receives BlueLegs32 from canucks
Detroit receives Storm Brewery.
Vancouver receives the naming rights to Lake Superior
predators receives tonuch4963 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives TRed7894 from predators
Detroit receives Yazoo Brewery, and a choked on peanut.
Nashville receives the helmet from Robocop.
penguins receives thewinterzodiac from edmontonoilers
penguins receives nextfanatic from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives DontPanic_4242 from penguins
edmontonoilers receives shirleyxx from penguins
penguins receive a barrel of the finest Albertan oil.
penguins receives StonedArcticPenguin from rangers
rangers receives ArchaicTriad from penguins
Pittsburgh Cheesesteak has been removed from the menu from Parmanti Bro's
anaheimducks receives Efficient-Sentence from winnipegjets
anaheimducks receives ItsaMe_Fish from winnipegjets
winnipegjets receives dunkan799 from anaheimducks
anaheimducks Front Office will have food delivered to the Front Office of Winnipegjets
stlouisblues receives otterHooligan from flyers
stlouisblues receives DelcoScum from flyers
stlouisblues receives agswanlek from flyers
flyers receives OtterInAustin from stlouisblues
flyers receives lawnicus18 from stlouisblues
flyers receives Rhymes_withOrange from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives The Jacks NYB from Philadelphia in exchange for one hour alone with the Stanley Cup for Gritty.
rangers receives Asscheese124 from floridapanthers
rangers receives BearHands00 from floridapanthers
rangers receives MiamiDolphinsFan13 from floridapanthers
floridapanthers receives MentalCorruption from rangers
The New York Rangers also receive naming rights to the city of Miami, renaming it New Brooklyn, and naming rights to the Florida Keys, renaming them the Brooklyn Keys
flyers receives leadorlead from bluejackets
bluejackets receives puckcrisis11 from flyers
To bluejackets - a supply of Scrapple
To flyers - a gift card to La Crema in Hamilton
bluejackets receives NorthHighBears from coloradoavalanche
bluejackets receives RaiderGoalie from coloradoavalanche
bluejackets receives FuzzyTheKiller from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Highlander253 from bluejackets
coloradoavalanche receives HockeyHydralisk from bluejackets
Columbus Blue Jackets to receive a case of Marylands finest rot gut, DuClaw Brewery's Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter.
Colorado Avalanche to receive assurances that HockeyHydralisk will shitpost memes at least twice, spending more than ten minutes in GIMP and not just making text on a white background.
detroitredwings receives docksmur from bluejackets
detroitredwings receives Demonox01 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives TheFlanderer from detroitredwings
bluejackets receives InSwedenWeTrust from detroitredwings
bluejackets may dress the Spirit of Detroit in a Blue Jackets jersey for one week
detroitredwings receives the Columbus Brewing Company
flyers receives Sulfoniclol from coloradoavalanche
flyers receives doodlescout from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives TheGlaceon78 from flyers
coloradoavalanche receives wh1zzer from flyers
Colorado Avalanche to receive the township of Cherry Hill, NJ.
canes receives sneakytinkerspirits from canes
VGK receives a single In-n-Out fry. Not even animal style. Plain.
devils receives OhneBremse_OhneLicht from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives woodbot96 from devils
sanjosesharks receives SnowyPuzzle from devils
sanjosesharks receives HopelessEsq from devils
sanjosesharks receives CTLepore from devils
hawks receives themagicman1343 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Xenofon713 from hawks
detroitredwings receives Goose Island Brewery, but will still distribute to Chicago. hawks gets to rename 8 mile, 88 mile and a picture of Patrick Kane will be put on the sign.
hawks receives hockeyenthusiast from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives NimihseeL from hawks
Chicago will send some cold weather to the Bay Area. The Sharks will use this to host the Blackhawks in the Winter Classic.
canes receives StephDoesntCamp from flyers
flyers receives SheepLovesFinns from canes
flyers receives SarahCiv from canes
flyers receives IAMA_Dumba55_Fan from canes
canes receives the Rocky statue and promises to teach Steph how to properly appreciate Rod the Bod
dallasstars receives kethryvis from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives talkinmyface from dallasstars
sanjosesharks receives doihavetowearabra from dallasstars
Sharks receive three bags of hockey pucks.
detroitredwings receives OcelotWolf from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives swim846 from detroitredwings
sanjosesharks receives GreatCanadian_ from detroitredwings
sanjosesharks receives ts1234666 from detroitredwings
Detroit receives ownership of the Hapas Brewing Company.
newyorkislanders receives Dildo_Baggins_6969 from hawks
newyorkislanders receives bwhyte1123 from hawks
hawks receives Deathwing_Dragonlord from newyorkislanders
hawks receives commsmatt from newyorkislanders
Isles to provide Hawks with Brooklyn pie.
Hawks to provide Isles with deep dish pizza.
detroitredwings receives CutLinkOfficial from rangers
rangers receives nik_mkay from detroitredwings
/detroitredwings get Genesee Brewing Company.
/rangers get to rename Dayton, MI to New New York, MI
devils receives osoblanco234 from goldenknights
devils receives Bigcheecho from goldenknights
devils receives rubix08 from goldenknights
devils receives mmowry98 from goldenknights
devils receives CapHillFlash from goldenknights
goldenknights receives JSav7 from devils
goldenknights receives timotomat0 from devils
goldenknights receives Pastatrees from devils
goldenknights receives Palmsfan21 from devils
goldenknights receives faze_chair from devils
New Jersey Devils acquire Bryce Harper's tears
Vegas Golden Knights acquire a Nikita Gusev Jersey
devils receives Hobpobkibblebob from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives HeadHighSauce26 from devils
tampabaylightning receives diego-fuego from devils
TB receives: Louis Domingue NJ receives: some real Florida beach sand and a 12 pack of a Tampa Bay beer to be named later
canes receives Awab25 from hawks
hawks receives shadownet97 from canes
Canes will receive 1 pie from Pequod's.
leafs receives Cynova055 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives haIifax from leafs
To leafs - a signed LeBron James poster
To bluejackets - a Stan Rogers vinyl
coloradoavalanche receives ksheiny from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives zxpzflik from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives QuantumDrake from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives littleneerd from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives bluestooge from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives usiakcameron from coloradoavalanche
/ColoradoAvalanche receive a cup holder stolen from the Barclays center
both teams sign a joint statement saying the Barclays Center sucks for hockey
rangers receives _RocketGrunt_ from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives stormylullabye from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives Thebush121 from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives taylorrae33 from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives camco105 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives MEGAMATTEOMAN from rangers
coloradoavalanche receives Robtachi from rangers
New York Rangers to receive New Mountain York.
detroitredwings receives guccigatana from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives DeadWithMyFriends from detroitredwings
/NewYorkIslanders receive a girder from the old Joe Louis Arena
/DetroitRedWings receive the Southern Tier Brewing Company
tampabaylightning receives MooseKingdom from leafs
stlouisblues receives Ezflow from tampabaylightning
stlouisblues receives Bryce_Dead19 from tampabaylightning
stlouisblues receives Euroranger from stlouisblues
leafs receives Jimmers1231 from stlouisblues
leafs receives Bcakd5 from stlouisblues
bluejackets receives dylanr18 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives TheDanAplan from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives thecbjfan from bluejackets
leafs receives an official expression of gratitude from stlouisblues for Toronto's release of Tyler Bozak
hawks receives OleMissGoalie37 from coloradoavalanche
hawks receives HeelJopy from coloradoavalanche
hawks receives silentrenegade8 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Bragisson from hawks
Chicago to receive Rhein Haus.
stlouisblues receives wingsfan64 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives ContrastingWords from stlouisblues
/detroitredwings receive 2 clydesdales
/stlouisblues receive 2 Fiats.
flyers receives WhoaItsAFactorial from losangeleskings
losangeleskings receives SplendaMan from flyers
losangeleskings receives crafbicycle from flyers
flyers receives a bag of Mike Richards finest nose candy
losangeleskings receives Gritty's dealer's phone number
losangeleskings receives kenlane from newyorkislanders
losangeleskings receives auniqueusername1001 from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives Branzilla91 from losangeleskings
newyorkislanders receives WhyAreYouGey from losangeleskings
newyorkislanders receives trippy2219 from losangeleskings
/NewYorkIslanders receive a Pau Gasol jersey
/LosAngelesKings receive a jug of that good Brooklyn Water
flyers receives RealmoftheRedWiings from detroitredwings
flyers receives RedWingFan5 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives carp_boy from flyers
detroitredwings receives KFC_Gaming from flyers
/detroitredwings receive Yuengling Brewery
/flyers receive otters Kalee and Sparky from the Detroit Zoo
coyotes receives JimmyRadRad from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives sdubz11 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives vinnyv91 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives PinHill from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives bonzaijoe from coyotes
TB receives: Some desert sand from Arizona + 1 live coyote
ARI receives: Some beach sand from Florida
predators receives m4xdc from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Forny008 from predators
Colorado Avalanche to receive Carrie "Carrie Underwood" Fisher at one home game.
Nashville Predators to receive two free Chevrolet Avalanches to smash as they see fit during the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
stlouisblues receives christinaann6 from penguins
penguins receives a promise that u/professorwhat won't make another edgy joke on stream
losangeleskings receives PhelpsTheory from canes
losangeleskings receives AStelthyNinja from canes
canes receives LABoston from losangeleskings
In addition, CAR receives a dozen Randy's donuts and a taco truck. LAK receives one storm surge wavier.
coloradoavalanche receives YouGot2BeKiddingMe from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives feedfatso1607 from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives Leumas_lheir from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives putinsukraine from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives stubborn11 from coloradoavalanche
COL receives: A jar of lightning that can be controlled and used to kill enemies
TB receives: An avalanche machine that trigger an avalanche wherever I want, once
bluejackets receives Something_319 from stlouisblues
bluejackets receives Euroranger from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives TheDanAplan from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives dylanr18 from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives the entire The Drew Carey Show on Blu-Ray.
bluejackets receive the body of General William T. Sherman. At last reunited with Grant, acquired in an earlier trade, Ohio's great God-Kings shall be reinterred beneath Nationwide Arena, henceforth to watch over this city, this state, and this hockey team in eternal glory.
sabres receives TheConeOfShame805 from penguins
penguins receives NumberJ5 from sabres
sabres receives the Monongahela River and a grilled cheese sandwhich that the Penguins promise is actually a Philly cheesesteak
penguins also gives NumberJ5 his own personal bidet
goldenknights receives needuhlife19 from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives D3troiit from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives cookbacondrunknaked from goldenknights
/detroitredwings receive Ellis Island Hotel Casino & Brewery.
/goldenknights receive Tom Selleck's mustache
bluejackets receives Sh1eldbearer from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives RCX42 from bluejackets
Vegas acquires some Lake Effect from Columbus to help pond hockey in the desert
tampabaylightning receives bay_sports from sanjosesharks
tampabaylightning receives DontSayNoToPills from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives bonzaijoe from tampabaylightning
sanjosesharks receives XanoJester from tampabaylightning
devils receives Troub313 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Flowseidon9 from devils
detroitredwings receives corso923 from devils
/detroitredwings receive the Anheuser-Busch facility located in Newark.
sanjosesharks receives adam3vergreen from bluejackets
bluejackets receives sjs48 from sanjosesharks
bluejackets receives eggs-dee123 from sanjosesharks
caps receives brycer16 from flyers
caps receives AgelessWonder67 from flyers
caps receives FlackBox from flyers
flyers receives koalabear9301 from caps
flyers receives NotShibs from caps
flyers receives _Ghost8_ from caps
Philadelphia sends Jeff Francoeur to DC.
habs receives MOLightningBro from tampabaylightning
habs receives RandomBoltsFan from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives Davel_Patsyuk from habs
tampabaylightning receives christiv7 from habs
tampabaylightning receives Lander-V from habs
MTL receives: A meeting with the Yakuza
TB receives: The best poutine Quebec has to offer
habs receives spyingformontreal from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Notopdelta from habs
/detroitredwings receive Molson Coors Brewing Company.
/Habs receive an unreleased Eminem mixtape
devils receives hnglmkrnglbrry from bluejackets
bluejackets receives summervacationtoHoth from devils
bluejackets receives Danny_Devitos_Bitch from devils
bluejackets receives kingofthediamond from devils
bluejackets receives 4Bars_BlackFlag from devils
bluejackets receives Cyrus_Voltaire from devils
bluejackets receives Future Considerations and Snookie from devils
bluejackets acknowledges and endorses the Devils' famous Christmas Whites as the best in the Tri-State Area.
habs receives Angry_Walnut from goldenknights
goldenknights receives Instantcurry from habs
goldenknights receives killerb54 from habs
Vegas acquires Paccioretty's C
Montreal acquires Paccioretty's A
flyers receives JakeTheSnake0709 from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives NippleDickPussyBhole from flyers
flyers receives the Walterdale Bridge EdmontonOilers receive the opportunity to lick the Liberty Bell
caps receives Xenofon713 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives NKilmer6 from caps
/detroitredwings receive a bag of prison booze from The Central Detention Facility
sanjosesharks receives Softestpoop from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives infamousgenitals from sanjosesharks
edmontonoilers receives thegreatmomo14 from sanjosesharks
penguins receives ProjectPsion from bluejackets
penguins receives TheStigofKentucky from bluejackets
penguins receives Zebra_dan from bluejackets
bluejackets receives PenguinPride87 from penguins
bluejackets receives knucklepuck17 from penguins
bluejackets admits the Pirates will win another title before the Browns will
caps receives thatgoodmojo from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Xenofon713 from caps
/detroitredwings will be holding a press conference soon to honor Xenofon713 for coming back home...for good this time.
flyers receives safetide from losangeleskings
losangeleskings receives cdl5060 from flyers
flyers also receives a meeting with Snoop Dogg to explain what otters are to him
sanjosesharks receives plantedgreenfern from caps
sanjosesharks receives Roust_McGoust from caps
sanjosesharks receives SaxIsMyAxe1_ from caps
sanjosesharks receives Fireball827 from caps
sanjosesharks receives hokierange from caps
caps receives Sainthops from sanjosesharks
caps receives pachicola from sanjosesharks
caps receives bunnymcfoo from sanjosesharks
caps receives SurprisedCarlos from sanjosesharks
winnipegjets receives NarcoticTurkey from habs
habs receives finnishjetter from winnipegjets
Habs receive protection from finnishjetter sabotaging our hockey survivor plans for 2020
winnipegjets receives Spitfyre434 from sanjosesharks
winnipegjets receives lackingspoon from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives TrueNorthStrong1898 from winnipegjets
The Winnipeg Jets officially acknowledge that Northern California is better than Southern California.
winnipegjets receives Fixmy59bug from goldenknights
winnipegjets receives Hektorpascal from goldenknights
goldenknights receives biga204 from winnipegjets
goldenknights receives Kudgar from winnipegjets
stlouisblues receives Whydoesthisexist15 from canes
stlouisblues receives gene_scallop from canes
stlouisblues receives waltstrika from canes
stlouisblues receives canesfan556 from canes
stlouisblues receives fogger794 from canes
canes receives PM_Me_Things_Yo_Like from stlouisblues
canes receives TechDawg20 from stlouisblues
canes receives JazzPolice13 from stlouisblues
canes receives M_Shepard_89 from stlouisblues
canes receives jsmu2016 from stlouisblues
canes receives a buffet tray of T-Ravs, stlouisblues receives the Section 328 Podcast.
canucks receives DeathToHeretics from caps
hawks receives ainzooalg0wn from caps
caps receives thelaineranger from canucks
hawks receives jlennox__ from canucks
caps receives younggun92 from hawks
caps receives jamaicancovfefe from hawks
To Chicago: A pizza from We The Pizza (Toppings to be decided at a later date)
To DeathToHeretics: A Chicago Dog and Chicago Deep Dish Pizza to be taken with him to Vancouver
canucks receives ChronicBitRot from hawks
canucks receives ThirdTimesAnAlt from hawks
canucks receives SpeedyDolphin42 from hawks
hawks receives mephnick from canucks
winnipegjets receives darnfox from detroitredwings
winnipegjets receives akschreibs from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives PuckTheFreds from winnipegjets
/detroitredwings receive Half Pints Brewing Co.
/winnipegjets receive lockers from Joe Louis Arena, to be used as the overhead compartments
canucks receives jmorga33 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives offline_dude19 from canucks
canucks receives a bag of pucks from bluejackets , and promises to take them down to Seattle and use them to break Starbucks windows
losangeleskings receives sweetstrife from bluejackets
bluejackets receives Mootux from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives im_turning_into_moss from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives Bhelliom from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives Boii1209 from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives WorldRallyBlues from losangeleskings
The Rainbow Bar and Grill moved to Columbus. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame moved to Los Angeles. Harvey Weinstein lifetime banned from entering Ohio.
/sabres receives Mercpool87 from /penguins
/sabres receives DL757 from /penguins
/sabres receives armagev17 from /penguins
/penguins receives shadowzeak from /sabres
/penguins receives Uncle_Gazpacho from /sabres
penguins receives the city of Buffalo, and the Buffalo Bisons u/armagev17 receives a full NTC
hawks receives spicy-succ from newyorkislanders
hawks receives PracticallyCanadian7 from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives IAmQueensBlvd31 from hawks
/NewYorkIslanders receive courtiebabe420's old Jay Cutler jersey
/Hawks receive TheBossJarhead's old John Tavares jersey
penguins receives cgreen727 from coyotes
coyotes receives BoBandy35 from penguins
coyotes receives TheStigofKentucky from penguins
coyotes receives brendan0305 from penguins
coyotes get Phil Kessel's old house for u/bonzaijoe
penguins get an old Phil Kessel hotdog wrapper for u/armagev17
coloradoavalanche receives Freaaak55 from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives SlipperyInNet from coloradoavalanche
goldenknights receives AnAngryAnimal from wildhockey
goldenknights receives CommanderCorndog from wildhockey
wildhockey receives moosepile from goldenknights
Minnesota sends Mild hot sauce to Vegas. Vegas issues a written apology for having done it to GMCF so hard in the expansion draft
flyers receives pelliffe11 from devils
devils receives MrMeSeeds from flyers
Flyers also receive Apple Watch to log "fitness"
canucks receives thronelol from caps
canucks receives mataleon07 from caps
canucks receives camelCaseNoob from caps
caps receives IGotThisFromEbay from canucks
caps receives Crazymoney74 from canucks
caps receives spacppl from canucks
caps receives flyingsub from canucks
caps receives BraqAttack from canucks
bluejackets receives FewWatermelonlesson7 from wildhockey
wildhockey receives AntiPrince from bluejackets
Minnesota admits that they are not, in fact, Canadian. The Blue Jackets admit that the Cleveland Indians ownership is dumb and stupid.
goldenknights receives svartkonst from dallasstars
goldenknights receives scoutcjustice from dallasstars
goldenknights receives FuckItHaveAnUpvote from dallasstars
dallasstars receives Sumdood88 from goldenknights
And a promise to get Drokeep out of Philly
detroitredwings receives quantumking_ from wildhockey
detroitredwings receives Zushenko from wildhockey
wildhockey receives Detonation from detroitredwings
DET acquires: Burning Brothers Brewery
MIN acquires: 5 lbs of mackinac fudge
sabres receives TurtleWithATail from canucks
sabres receives MirandaGemini from canucks
canucks receives KEWLCactus from sabres
Vancouver receives both the American and Canadian sides of Niagara Falls.
Buffalo receives 2000 lbs of salmon (wild) and the rights to Seattle as a rival.
losangeleskings receives wyattgbert from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Arelfel from losangeleskings
/detroitredwings receive Angel City Brewery
/losangeleskings receive a random parking lot attendant
penguins receives Dragarien from detroitredwings
penguins receives drock21023 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives byfugWIN from penguins
/detroitredwings receive Croakers Brewing
/penguins receive an old concession stand from Joe Louis Arena
detroitredwings receives Gamogi from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives LLbnjt99 from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives rdayrien from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives saltydingus from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives Ohgodwhatisthisidont from detroitredwings
edmontonoilers receives iFuktUrMom from detroitredwings
edmontonoilers receives BylerTertuzzi from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives the Alley Kat Brewing Company.
habs receives NontransferableApe from bluejackets
bluejackets receives Toaster_Coaster from habs
bluejackets receives gryff_ from habs
hawks receives BoltsGoalieGirl from tampabaylightning
hawks receives DoinWhale from tampabaylightning
hawks receives xW52 from tampabaylightning
hawks receives KatWantsToBattle from tampabaylightning
hawks receives J_Mark13 from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives GRAIN_DIV_20 from hawks
tampabaylightning receives drmatt19 from hawks
tampabaylightning receives freezend from hawks
tampabaylightning receives burtsreynoldswrap from hawks
tampabaylightning receives keister_TM from hawks
TB receives: The best Chicago deep dish pizza for the staff + a shipment of Old Style
CHI receives: The best Cuban subs for the staff + a shipment of Yuengling
dallasstars receives Drokeep from flyers
flyers receives Sumdood88 from dallasstars
goldenknights agrees to renounce all present and future claims to Bryce Harper
dallasstars recieves Chance the Gila Monster from Vegas
tampabaylightning receives CluelessNuggetOfGold from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives canbehazardous from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives DarkRitNighthawk from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives SlenderSpenser from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives Datsyuk1998 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives westofvenus from tampabaylightning
detroitredwings receives SuperSniper4 from tampabaylightning
detroitredwings receives deeyaz from tampabaylightning
/detroitredwings receives Cigar City Brewing
/tampabaylightning receies a C8 Corvette in blue and a case of Vernors
goldenknights receives obelisk29 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives cm17cm17 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives MrTubzy from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives justincase_2008 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives lorenzovonmaterhorn from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives GhostlyPixel from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives Hollywood_Zro from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives WoomyNgyes from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives Byers346 from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives KelaSaar from goldenknights
TB receives: Tickets to a Vegas show to be named later
VGK receives: Future Considerations
submitted by DeadlineCommish to hockey [link] [comments]

D100 floors for the magical tower that just appeared

It can be puzzles, combat, a rolplaying scene... But THEY NEED TO HAVE A CONDITION TO PASS TO THE NEXT FLOOR
  1. It's a tavern perfectly seted up for some quick dates, in order to continue o the next floor the PCs need to find the love of their life.
  2. It's just a trapdoor on the ceiling, but it's really far away from the floor, around 5 meters
  3. It's a giant armadillo they need to defeat, but he refuses to fight and is made a ball so they can't attack him, they need to convince him into combat. If he surrenders it still counts as a victory.
  4. A magic tic tac toe that makes Xs appear where it's touched and places Os where it needs in order to play with a perfect strategy, you can use the Google tic tac toe in impossible mode. In order to continue they need to win either by pressing two tiles at the same time (the board won't make his move until it's released) or by pressing a tile already occupied by an O
  5. It's a TV quizz show called Know your monsters, the host is a humanoid bee and when asked any questions the correct answer will be B. Their opponents are a group of humanoid snakes that will always answer C (sssssssce) they only need to answer one question correctly to win since their oponents will always be wrong. You can ask random things from the monsters manual but preferably not statistics but colors of things or height, just to avoid meta.
  6. Remember that game, "the floor is lava"? The floor is not lava -- the heat and toxic fumes would make the game impossible to play -- but a black pudding. There are several "islands" throughout the room -- a slowing dissolving wooden chest, a stone statue of a historic figure, a suit of pitted plate armor, the corpse inside sizzling and smoking -- at various distances that the players can jump to in order to reach the exit. (Or they can just boldly wade through, damage and corrosion be damned!) Each "island" poses its own challenges in terms of footing, length of time it can be stood on, how much weight it can support, and so on. Oh, and remember a black pudding can punch you with its pseudopod.
  7. The BDP: You open the door to find a rather plain waiting area where various monsters and surprisingly enough adventurers are waiting in line. Out of the 12 teller windows only 3 are active at any given time and are manned by mindless zombies. On a successful dungeoneering check will gove the realization that the adventurers have entered the Bureau for Dungeon Placement. A sign in abyssal tells the adventurers what line they must enter and what forms they need to fill out but not in what order and may have to reenter the line upon failure to be in the right line with the right paperwork. A line takes 1d4 hours to get to the front. All monsters and npc adventurers start off with a hostile attitude towards the adventurers of they try to speed things up and cut to the front. Once everything has been properly filled/signed/stamped the adventurers are shown to the door that will lead them to the next floor.
  8. A sphynx who wants the answer to a riddle, but can't remember the riddle. Asks the party for a good riddle to stump the next group of adventurers with and only let's them pass if they come up with a really good one. A few levels later, you encounter a troll who demands you answer his riddle. He's giddy about how hard the riddle is, and taunts you with the impossibility of it, and how you'll never ever get it right. He says if you get the riddle wrong, he gets to eat one of you, and demands you pick out the person that he gets to eat ahead of time. And then you pick out that person, and he says, no, not that one, I don't like the look of that one -- too fat/skinny/ugly/whatever, no, I want that one, and he picks out a different person, and haggles endlessly, until finally you reach a deal. And then at last he tells you the riddle, which is the riddle you told to the sphinx a few floors ago. Of course you know the answer. He flies into a rage and attacks you.
  9. A movie theater with a really bad movie playing. The PCs have to make saving throws in order to resist the psychic damage of the most horrible plot the DM can come up with (think of things like Santa going to high school or Romeo and Juliet but it’s told by a ghetto version of Tybalt). When the room is searched there is no exit, but once the movie is finished the lights will come on and a very obvious exit will appear.
  10. A waiting room filled with other adventurers on various different quests. There’s a ticker by the door with a double digit number on it and a small wheel of tickets with numbers on them. The players take a short rest before their numbers are shown and they can go through the door.
  11. Several monsters or previous enemies just sitting at various tables playing different casino games. To get to the next floor each of the party members needs to win one game each. When they do they will be given a key shaped like a casino chip which they can use to open the door to the next floor. And remember, the baddies play for bets.
  12. A library labyrinth. When the PCs enter they will see a very lost wizarding college student. They will ask the PCs to help them find a book that they think will help them get to the next floor. Upon finding the book it will act as a lever opening a secret passage. The student, however, will ignore the hidden door and rip the book off the shelf breaking something that a poor gnome worked very hard on. He will take the book with the wires still attached and head back into the Labyrinth thanking the party.
  13. It's goats! The entire floor is a pastoral meadow full of goats. Why are there so many goats? You are unsure but they seem peaceful.
  14. It's a giant talking head calling itself Olmec, it challenges you to run through a darkly lit five story maze to try to find an idol. Masked men will jump out and attack you as you search for the idol.
  15. At the center of this room is an elegant fountain, an inscription on it claims that whoever bathes in the fountain will be as ageless and strong as a mountain. Any part of the body that actually touches the water will turn to stone. Warning: Drinking the water will kill you. The stairs are just behind it, its just to see if they are dumb enough to use the fountain.
  16. It's a goblinoid street festival! Jolly goblin and bugbear merchants attempt to hawk all manner of strange festival foods! From honeyed mushrooms to fried rat skewers, horse jerky and moss based salads. Various events can occur, like: (1)a lost child that needs to find his mother, (2)a guard trying to stop some thieves from pickpocketing, (3)a store owner that needs a way to publicitate his shop, (4) a circus artists whose asisstant, a parrot that has been shapeshifted to a human, is missing and they need to find it by looking for someone that only repeats what they hear or acts socially awkward. The first can lead them to kenkus. If the group is splitted they can end up trying to publicitate enemisted shops, trying to help both the pickpocketers and the guard, helping both the mother and the kid... But you can come up with your own ideas for events and when you are done you can make them find a key or the door for the next floor to appear.
  17. The Ball Pit - The Room is filled with colorful little hollow balls, each the size of softball. It is neck deep on a tall human (at least six feet deep). Somewhere in the pool of spheres is a trigger or switch that will lower a rope from the ceiling and the exit there. There is an antimagic field near the ceiling that cancels magical attempts to reach it, and the walls on all sides are slick as wet ice and impossible to climb. On the plus side, any fall drops you safely into the ball pit.
  18. The shooting gallery from Zelda Ocarina of Time. Gotta play to win, gotta win to escape. (At least one player from the part must hit all the targets, DM sets a series of increasingly difficult attack rolls )
  19. An awkward dinner party with the villain’s parents, who keep apologizing for what they’ve done. Players who can successfully change the subject of the conversation escape.
  20. A huge room filled with desks, hundreds of people sitting nervously. Yes, it’s your calculus final, and none of you have studied. At least one player must pass a math quiz to escape .
  21. David S. Pumpkins https://youtu.be/rS00xWnqwvI, when he finishes dancing and asks for questions he banishes, he will now appear every d4+1 floors, rolling again everytime he appears to make it unpredictable. You can be creative with the scenarios he appears in, like in a riddle in which one of the skeletons always lies and the other tells the truth and there are 2 doors, the one the skeletons act as if was the door with the stairway contains David S. Pumpkins or similar scenarios to surprise your players
  22. Nothing but chickens. The whole floor is a well-appointed coop with straw on the floor (that magically refreshes twice a day), bins for water and food, lots of little hutches for roosting. Every day at noon, a swarm of insects materializes, and the chickens go apeshit hunting them down. In order to pass to the next level of the tower, the characters must find the golden egg that one of the chickens has laid. There is a cup to fit it in the very center of the floor, but no other indication of what to do. Any non-golden egg placed in the cup explodes and does 6d8 force damage to anyone within 20 feet (DC 15 DEX for half). This explosion leaves the chickens unharmed.
  23. March in Minnesota - The air is crisp, clean, and heading to warmth. A near by window lets in light that is warm and inviting. On the far side of the room is a door out. It is roughly 300 feet across with a rough and uneven floor, but not s much as to make walking difficult. Maybe you will stub a toe, but that's the worst danger. As soon as the PCs take a single step in, snow plummets from the sky, burying everything in a depth of snow that varies per ten foot square from one inch to approximately three hundred inches (3d100 - 2). Situated near the door are exactly enough snow shovels for each party member. There is also a sign that states "All Walkways must be clear or fines levied." A diagram shows a wide (20 foot x 100 foot path) that stretches from one wall to the next path labelled Driveway and a smaller path stretching from door to door five feet wide and 300 feet long. Failure to try and open the door without clearing the snow form the pathways results in a arctic cold blast that deals cold damage to the entire party. Once the pathways are clear, the door unlocks. Room Notes: The Pathway is in a vague "T" shape, with the driveway path ending randomly in a snowbank that may or may not have been randomly plowed up by a jack ass snow plow man. Every Hour there is a 5% chance for more snow to fall. This snow will fall on each square, especially those recently shoveled. I would estimate that for a fit shoveler about 4–5 tons an hour is about right. For a non fit shoveler I would expect 2–3 tons per hour. 20x20x6 block of snow weighs roughly one ton.
  24. A trophy room, filled with various awards, though your party gets nervous when they see their own names on empty plaques meant for mounting animal heads. DC 18 investigation check reveals a trap door lever- it’s an elk antler you have to turn just right.
  25. the nicest bathroom anyone has ever seen, with the friendliest and most stylish bathroom attendant you’ve ever met. With a uniform that neatly pressed and a smile that warm and accommodating you almost can ignore the fact that it’s a fiend. The last toilet stall conceals an escape tunnel- players flush themselves like Harry Potter OR fight the fiend to escape.
  26. A large cratered and barren field a few hundred feet across with a line of trenches on either side. The trenches stretch as far as the eye can see in either direction, and both are filled with strangely dressed soldiers speaking unfamiliar languages that are engaged in firing strange weapons at each other. The party emerges in one of the trenches, and peering over the top of their trench over at the other can plainly see the exit door standing behind the other trench.
  27. A wall has Draconic text on it. Shouting loudly at them in draconic will cause them to glow, revealing the exit in the process. Disturbing the runes in any other way summons a dragon of appropriate level, which is fiercely aggressive towards the party regardless of normal alignment. Upon it's defeat, the exit it revealed.
  28. The door to this floor simply leads to another door, and another, and another. An infinite demiplane of two-way hallways of doors stretches out from it. A third-person omniscient narrator comments on the party' s actions, occasionally dropping vague hints at the solution but primarily to make fun of the players. The solution is to keep more than 10 doors open; they close automatically, but can be propped open or broken. This many hallways revealed at once destabilizes the apparently low-level demiplane, causing the next opened door to lead to the next floor. The more doors that are open, the more odd and stilted the narrator sounds.
  29. On this floor, mirrors make up the walls and ceiling. There is no visible exit door, apart from the one that was used to enter the room. Attempting to break a mirror fails, and causes psychic damage equal to the damage that the player would have dealt to the mirror. A successful DC15 perception check reveals that the mirrors are very slightly delayed from what they are reflecting, similar to a low-quality camera. The solution is to damage a party member without damaging the mirror; the mirror will be shattered, and the party member that was damaged will disappear from all mirrors in the room. After all the party members disappear from the mirrors, the mirror image of the door that was uses to enter the room becomes a door of it's own, which leads to the next floor.
  30. A room where there is some texts on the wall in a language that none of the party understands. This room is protected by divination magic as if there is a 5th level counter spell which is displayed as a flash of blue light. this can be dispelled with a successful DC 19 dispel magic or a fifth level spell slot. There is also a table with 5 or so syringes on it. If one of the players is punctured by it by any means they must make a DC 25 con save or suffer the effects. Which are that you learn one language and are able to read, write and speak it but loses all other languages in the process. After 1 minute they will need to take another con save DC 15 if successful nothing happens and don’t need to roll anymore saves. If failed then their bones start to turn to liquid making it hard to perform gestures and you attack at disadvantage. After another minute they will need to perform another DC 14 con save if successful then nothing happens on a fail there legs start to turn into liquid your movement speed is halved and you have disadvantage on dex saves. Another minute goes by and another con save DC 14 if successful nothing happens if failed their entire body turns into goop giving them 10ft move speed and a 10ft climb speed they can fit though gaps 1 inch in size, they cannot use somatic components, and they are now classified as an ooze. This can be entirely cured by a greater restoration spell but will be put back one level by a lesser restoration spell. But if it is removed entirely the person forgets that language entirely and everything they have read with it. One of the syringes gives you the language you need and all they need to do is say the text on the wall which can be whatever you want. After someone says it all the effects from the syringes go away and a door opens letting you continue.
  31. A room containing a deep blue slime, capable of communication (somehow), that demands that the PCs play a game of some kind before continuing. Cards, dice, or on the mysterious screen devices in the room - doesn't matter, they know them all. (the roll involved depends on the game and the playstyle - bluffing requires charisma, strategy games require wisdom, and so on.) If the PCs lose the game, the slime gets very smug about it and proclaims them to be brainless newbies. Mentioning the irony of it calling someone brainless will get him angry. If the PCs win the game, the slime gets very angry about it and proclaims them to be cheating scrubs and demands a rematch. The slime is very very easily provoked into arguing for hours about the best strategy for any game in particular (it calls it 'the meta') and takes them very, very seriously. If at any point the argument of the PCs becomes something along the lines of "It's just a game", regardless of the context, the slime metaphorically explodes in anger, and then shortly thereafter literally explodes with anger. This allows the PCs to continue. Alternatively, after a full 3 hours of arguing with the PCs about The Meta, (during which a lot of arguments will be repeats of previous ones, regardless of what the PCs say) the slime will proclaim the PCs to be so completely trash that they're not even worth talking to and playing with, and demanding that they leave. (not in those exact words, most likely!) This will also allow the PCs to leave. (Added side note: Any PC brave or foolish enough to taste test the blue slime - pre or post explosion - will find that it tastes oddly sweet, and makes the PC in question feel energized... at least for an hour, and then they feel just a bit sleepy for an hour afterwards. If it's tasted pre-explosion, the slime may be slightly perturbed, but will continue with the above actions regardless unless repeatedly ingested, at which point it will skip to demanding the players leave - after all, trying to eat someone up while they're arguing with you is just plain rude.)
  32. A very large room that appears to be hosting a concert of a band of orcs (or suitable equivalent) playing extremely loud rock ballads, EDM music, and other such, regardless of the standard period music of the adventure. The difficulty isn't in finding the exit - it's plainly marked at the other side of the room - but in getting to it, pushing through a throng of drunk and rowdy concert goers while dealing with music so loud that you can feel it modifying your heartbeat through shear force. It's not deafening, though... more's the pity (?).
  33. A room containing one incredibly sweet looking individual (your choice of race, gender and so on - pick whatever your table would find most cute.) at an artist's table, with a door to the next floor on the other side. The individual turns out to be an artist, and would love to show you one of their sketchbooks - you don't have to look through it at all, simply say you're busy and move on, but they'll be very disheartened if you don't. If the PCs do look through, they find that the art is very very well drawn - but also that subject matter both impressively eclectic, and incredibly, ah... 'candid', if you catch my meaning. (It's up to you to decide which meaning would be most appropriate to your table. tread cautiously, and keep it funny!) It's not as if the drawings will cause madness akin to Cthulhu or anything, thankfully, but likely they wouldn't expect these kind of drawings from someone this cute. A compliment of their art will make the individual very very happy, but again, isn't necessary to pass through.
  34. A room covered in very obvious tile switches on the floor, with a sign reading "STEP TWO STEP TWO.", and faint dance music playing (in 2/4 time, importantly). The tiles are labeled with numbers 1 to 9, in a seemingly random order, though there is a path of 2s leading to the door. Stepping on the tiles at random leads to the tiles seemingly randomly flinging the PCs back to the entrance - it makes them hit the wall, but thankfully the wall is cushioned so as not to harm them. The trick is to step onto the tiles in time with the beat - the actual tiles stepped on doesn't matter, it's simply the timing. If the PCs decide to make their steps into funky dance moves, the room gives them a little extra bonus when they hit the exit door - namely, a well made outfit tailored just right for the PC in question, and perfectly appropriate for dancing in. (This outfit may end up modified slightly in style depending on the dance moves in particular used - in particular, performing an actual two step will garner a masterfully crafted outfit of appropriate style (What the appropriate style is depends, of course, on the kind of two step performed - there's more then one! Look it up!) that's suitable for enchantments.)
  35. A room with a sign in the middle reading 'REST STOP', with a set of lovely cushioned seats (or just cushions, if you prefer), one for each party member, set around a table with some well made jam and bread, alongside a pot of tea - just enough for one cup per member. If they have any pets or animal-like followers, there's also some appropriate food and drink for them. If the party doesn't like tea, or jam and bread, replace it with something they'd prefer. The door to the next floor is available at any point in time - The room itself is perfectly safe to take a short rest in, although perhaps a bit too small for people to lie down and sleep in without having to lie on top of one another. There's nothing particularly special about the food and drink presented, but it is quite well made and is enough to satisfy whatever hunger might be present, if any.
  36. An empty room with an ordinary locked door. The door can't be damaged and the lock can't be picked. The door is unlocked the second time an individual touches it.
  37. The party enter into a room only lit by a singular spotlight on an empty space in the middle of the room (this might freak the party out on its own). Once the party moves further into the room (be it into the spotlight or not) more light will turn on, revealing 4-5 wealthy looking nobles, businessmen or merchants. In front of the prior lit area is now a pedestal with a item on top. One of the men will say something along the lines of "Well, well, well... What do you bring into.... The Lions Den! What spectacular item do you think is worthy of our investment?" It's like the program Shark Tank, the party has to convince one of the merchants/nobles to buy their product. The problem is the product is something entirely useless; a small block of wood, a wet cloth, a tin cup with lots of dents. The merchants might take everything very serious and with a stone expression, they might take it as an insult that the party tries to pitch this worthless junk to them. Once the party convinces anyone of the merchants to invest in their product, a door will open behind that person.
  38. The party walk into a tavern. It's almost full, but there's a table or two with enough room for the party. In one end a stage is setup and what seems like a farmer is trying a few jokes - it's open mic night! The party, either all of them or just one person, needs to take to the stage and deliver a good joke. Be it a short one liner or a more elaborate story, they have to get a laugh out of the audience, which might prove a bit rough. Then a door will open at the other end of the room. If the party manages to get you, the DM, to actually laugh, award them with something - the patrons might toss a few gold coins, they might have a shop in town and offer the party a discount next time they stop by.
  39. It's a quite large room, or a forest clearing, whatever you feel like. On one side of the room is a large pile of huge stones, weirdly rectangular, each stone being approximately 4m x 2,1m x 1m and weighing about 20 tonnes. On the other side is a smaller, but still human-height stone with some Sylvan inscriptions. If they don't know Sylvan, a successful investigation/intelligence roll will let them know it's a set of instructions. On the smaller stone is also a somewhat washed out 'picture' depicting the structure they need to build. Yep - it's the Stonehenge, and they need to build it The hard part should not be figuring this out, but actually moving these heavy rocks - unless they have a Bear Totem Goliath Barbarian with 24 STR or something, they can't really move the stones weighing 20 tonnes. Maybe the rogue got some rope and pullies, maybe they got a 10 foot pole to use as a leverage, maybe the mage got some useful spell - using fireball to explode the stones up (they are either hardy enough or indestructible), or of they have no idea, a set of good strength rolls should be enough. Once they've set it up, a druid will come and thank them for their service, and show them the way onwards.
  40. The door to the room has "Little Shop of Horticulture" written on it. When the party walks inside they see a massive store with all kinds of plants. In the center of the room is a giant Venus flytrap that keeps repeating "FEED ME SEYMOUR" The shopkeeper is a dick and won't let them leave without buying one of the most expensive items in the store, but he also has a name tag that says Seymour. If he's feed to the fly trap the party can leave.
  41. A goblin's birthday party. In the center of this room is a small crudely made birthday cake sitting atop it a table. 1d4+1 goblins surround it, one of which is wearing a poorly made construction paper party hat. Along one edge of the wall is a table containing gifts (things from the trinket list) from each goblin in the room. Across the room is a door to the next floor. The goblins will want the players to stay and celebrate with them and be sad if they leave.
  42. The room is filled with 100 cats, and one of the cats is speaking common to the other cats, gossiping about the adventurers that have arrived on the floor, maybe insulting them a little. The common speaking cat mentions they know where the key to the door to the next floor is but would never tell a bunch of idiots like this group. Common speaking cat doesn't know they are speaking common, thinks they are speaking cat. It is difficult to tell which cat is speaking common since they all move their mouths the same way and are constantly moving. Cat's can be interrogated via speak with animals, to provide advice as to what the common speaking cat sounds like. Perhaps threatening to start killing cats to blackmail the common speaking cat could work as well. If group suggests starting to intimidate random cats, have them roll D100 and choose a random number, if that number happens to be rolled, then they grabbed the correct cat. Key is adhered to the common speaking cats furry belly and can be inserted into the door which has stairs leading to the floor above.
submitted by Solucioneador to d100 [link] [comments]

OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…10

Continuing…
“Well, if that doesn’t throw the damper on things.” Dax remarks on our trip back down to the ground floor.
“Yeah. How rude. Up and deceasing your own self without bothering to tell anyone beforehand.” I noted.
“This is going to be a bloody balls-up. Trust me. This is going to be inordinately messy. A bog-standard botch job. A total dog’s dinner, just wait and see.” Cliffs adds.
“First, we have to contact IUPGS. Then what? Does Bulgaria have a consulate or embassy here? I wouldn’t think so…Then what?” I grieved. For once, I was rather low; both emotionally and on ideas.
“Let’s go back to the conference room and let everyone know. We’ll pull a brain session together. We should be able to sort out what needs to be done. The hotel already knows, so the state security forces also do as well. Be prepared for lengthy interrogation sessions, Gentlemen”, Cliff advised.
Back in the conference room, we relayed the sad information. All were taken aback and there were general notes of commiseration. However, since no one knew Iskren too well personally, it was more detached professionalism rather than overt weeping and wailing.
“Let us toast to our fallen comrade!” was accepted as both entirely appropriate and a damn good idea.
I got on the conference room phone and ordered up some more sandwiches, mixers, and bottles of booze. The moment was obviously structured that way, I reasoned.
We made our toasts to our fallen comrade and we had half a chalkboard filled with suggestions of what to do next.
The main consensus was: “Nothing.”
As in there was not much we could do. We were foreign nationals in a strangely foreign land. Our comrade was the sole member of his country, that is, Bulgaria, and the closest geographically we had aboard was Dr. Academician Ivan. No one wanted to loose Ivan on the DPRK security forces and have to deal with all that international fallout.
After some number of hours, after I suggested we all remain in the conference room as we’d (A.) be together, as in unity there is strength, (2.) we’d have each other’s backs when and if it came to interrogations, and, (iii.) this is where the free booze was.
Then there was a polite knock on the door.
I, as the den mother of this special education class, slowly got up and answered the knock.
It was a cadre of DPRK internal security forces, kitted out in their spiffy, tailor-made, and actually, quite smart-looking uniforms. Shoes and buttons polished to mirror-finishes, pants creases that could cut flesh, and enough polished brass to construct a spittoon.
“Hello? Yes?” I said through the semi-opened door.
“May we please come in? If the time is convenient.”, the head military type, very treacly asked.
“Of course”, I replied, “Please, do come in.”
Four of them entered as one. They did a quick-step, tight-march formation together and went to the head of the conference table.
“Good day, gentlemen. I am Colonel Hwangbo Dong-Hyeon of Internal State Security. First, we must offer condolences on the loss of your comrade. It must have come as a shock.” He intones.
There are mutters of “Thanks.” and “Damn right it was.”
“I have been entrusted to update you on the, ah, ‘situation’. First, Dr. Iskren Dragomirov Dinev, recently deceased, has been examined by the best medical practitioners in the country. He was obviously a foreign national and state guest, and we do not wish this to be a cause of suspicion or mistrust, especially during this auspicious Festival season.” He asserted.
We listened with rapt attention.
“I am authorized to tell you that it does not appear that the late Dr. Dinev expired of any untoward circumstances; or ‘foul play’, I believe is the western term. It has been ascertained that he expired due to wholly natural causes; namely massive myocardial infarction. Given his age, apparent health, and, ah, mass, this does seem a most reasonable explanation. This has been verified by no less than three DPRK medical professionals; one of which is the Emeritus teaching professor of Cardiology at Pyongyang Medical University. Again, you have our deepest condolences on the loss of your comrade.” He continued.
“I do remember Iskren complaining of gas pains the other night at the bar,” Joon agreed. “Thought nothing of it, given the change in all our diets.”
Colonel Hwangbo studied Joon like an entomologist examining a particularly fascinating new species of beetle.
“Which has been fine! Just rather rich compared to our usual food!” Joon hastily added.
Satisfied that Joon wasn’t making light of the ‘fine’ North Korean cuisine, Colonel Hwangbo continued, “As such, the Bulgarian Embassy here in Pyongyang has been contacted and apprised of the situation. They have taken over the case, as well as recovered the mortal remains and possessions of Dr. Dinev; all of which were conserved and authenticated by his Bulgarian national counterparts.”
“Ah, that’s good”, I said, “I’m pleased that there actually is a Bulgarian embassy here.”
“Ah. So.”, Col. Hwangbo continued, “Yes. They have already taken possession of Dr. Dinev’s mortal remains and possessions as I had noted, and will handle their repatriation to his country and family. As you can see, we have acted in the best of faith and with the utmost respect for your lately departed. Again, our condolences.”
There were some “Harrumphs”, and “Yeah, rights”, from the crowd, but since I was the team leader, it fell to me to handle this situation from here on out.
“Yes, indeed”, I replied, “We see that and do so deeply appreciate your efficiency and your keeping open the lines of communication. We have absolutely no room to complain. You, your team, your country, and your services have acted to the highest degree of professionalism and decorum. Let me extend, for the team, our heartiest appreciations in this most unfortunate matter.”
That seemed to please the Korean security forces. So much so they didn’t see the rolling eyes and smirks of grudging compliance from the crowd. I gave the evil-eye to several who were twittering quietly at my delivery of a load of over-the-top twaddle in the name of international goodwill.
“Thank you, Doctor…? Doctor…?”, he asked.
“Doctor Rocknocker.” I replied, “It’s spelled just as it sounds,”, I chuckled a knowing chuckle.
Colonel Hwangbo cracked a small smile for the first time since we met.
“As long as our orders of business are concluded, “ I inquired, “Might we offer you and your men a drink or sandwich or…”
“Cigar?” he suddenly brightened.
I smiled the sly, smirking smile of one of those used to the old duplicitous game of international diplomacy.
“Why”, I replied smilingly, “Of course.”
Col Hwangbo gratefully accepted a brace of fine Oscuro cigars. Probably more tobacco he’s seen in one place at one time since the last he rousted a snozzeled Western journalist or hammered European tourist with an overage of custom’s tobacco allowances.
His team eschewed cigars, but gladly accepted a pack each of pastel-colored Sobranie cocktail cigarettes.
It still slays me to see these battle-hardened, armed-to-the-teeth, unsmiling servants of the great state of Best Korea mincing about the courtyard smoking avocado, baby-blue, and peach-colored pastel cigarettes.
The Colonel and his team left after a couple of quick smokes, sandwiches, and surreptitious beers. I even enticed the Colonel into a couple of convivial vodka toasts when his team was otherwise occupied.
“Well, gang”, I said, closing the door, “Looks like that situation has been handled, most appropriately at that. We’ll miss ol’ Iskren, but at least he went fast and hopefully painlessly.”
I knew that last one was but a load of old dingo’s kidneys as I’ve had run-ins with cardiac disorders in the past and they are anything but painless. In any case, that was, as I noted, in the past. What was done is done. It was as it was. It is as it is.
“So, gentlemen”, I say, “Let us get back to work. Reality calls. Now, we’ve given you landlubbers the lowdown on our seismic pleasure cruise. Now we’d like to hear what you who had stayed onshore have come up with.”
Erlan, Graco, and Viv fill us in on the regional geology of Best Korea and lay out a plan to examine the sedimentary piles closest to the few paved roads in the north and east of the country.
We’ll be traveling by bus, as my request for four or five off-road vehicles was denied due to timing and lack of availability.
Yeah. Right. What a massive pile of bovine biogenic colluvium. A country with a military as huge as Best Korea’s and they can’t spare a few jeeps or Hummer reproductions?
Truth be told, they still don’t trust us and don’t want to let us out of their sight.
However, we did manage to snag some internal publications from the Central Geological Survey of Mineral Resources, which we figured as a major coup. Never before were Westerners allowed to even know of the existence of these materials, much less be able to research (read: slyly copy) them.
That ‘personal shaver’ I carried was actually a sneaky personal copier, a Vupoint ST470 Magic Wand Portable Scanner with all the external stickers peeled off, and any serial numbers abraded away.
Hey, they photograph us from every angle on the sly, listen in on our conversations, record our phone calls…hell, turnabout isn’t just fair play, it’s almost expected.
It’d be rude to refuse to play along.
Anyways, we learned that The Korean Peninsula (KP) occupies a junction area of three large tectonic domains that are the Paleo-Central Asian Orogenic Belt, Paleo-Tethyan Orogenic Belt, and the Western Pacific Orogenic Belt.
Tectono-fascinating.
To summarize:
  1. The Archean Rangrim massif is divided into the Rangrim and Kwanmo submassifs, high-grade region and greenstone belt, respectively.
  2. Early Paleoproterozoic rocks underwent metamorphism up to granulite facies, which may be correlated to the Jiao-Liao-Ji mobile belt in the North China Craton (NCC).
  3. Proterozoic rift sequences in North Korea are similar to those in the NCC with rare late Paleoproterozoic strata and more Neoproterozoic strata.
  4. Mesozoic igneous rocks are extensively distributed in the KP.
  5. The main Paleozoic basin, the Phyongnam basin in NK, have a similar Paleozoic tectono-stratigraphy to the NCC.
Of most interest is item #5. The Phyongnam basin is the only sedimentary and depositional basin of mention in the north of the Korean peninsula; and therefore the center of our attention as it pertains to oil and gas.
The potential source rocks, and possible reservoirs, include the Paleozoic Late Ordovician Miru Series was identified as the Koksan Series and subsequently renamed. The 170-meter thick limestone and siltstone centered around the P'yongnam Basin have extensive crinoid, coral, and gastropod fossils. Paleogeography researchers have suggested that corals formed in the Miru Sea-a branch of the South Yangtze Sea. At the base of the Taedong Synthem is the P'yong'an Supergroup, which lies disconformably atop older Paleozoic rocks.
In the Pyongyang Coalfield it is divided into the 650-meter sandstone, shale, and conglomerate of the Nogam Formation, the 500-meter Kobangsan Formation, 350-meter coal-bearing Sadong Formation and 250-meter chert-bearing Hongjom Formation, all typically assigned to an Upper Permian shallow marine environment.
In the Mesozoic, north of Pyongyang, Precambrian basement rocks are unconformably overlain by a Jurassic limestone conglomerate ascending to layers of siltstone and mudstone. The Upper Jurassic Shinuiju Formation northwest of Shinuiju has sandstone, conglomerate, and mudstone up to two kilometers thick.
Offshore drilling in the West Korea Bay Basin indicates these rocks are the onshore extension of offshore units. It is subdivided into fluvial rocks and Upper Jurassic black shale, limestone, conglomerate and sandstone formed in a lake environment.
There are very few Cenozoic sediments are known in North Korea, likely as a result of erosion due to uplift of the peninsula. Submarine normal faults along the eastern coastline may have driven crustal tilting. The 350-meter thick Bongsan Coalfield in Hwanghae Province on the west coast preserves and coal-bearing layers dating to the Eocene.
Further to the north, in the West Korea Bay Basin Eocene and Oligocene sedimentary rocks up to three kilometers thick unconformably overlie Mesozoic rocks, formed in lakes and coal swamps during the Paleogene.
What this meant is that we’d need to travel mostly northeast and/or southwest. This was fortuitous as the paved roads in the country were created in structural valleys formed by the primary fault trends in the country. The main trans-tensional set trended NE:SW and the conjugate set trends approximately 900 to the main set at NW:SE.
The topography was heavily dissected by drainages and the terrain consists mostly of hills and mountains separated by deep, narrow valleys. The coastal plains are wide in the west and discontinuous in the east.
The plan was to take the bus north to Sunchon, then hang a right off towards Unsan and Yongha. There were outcrops between the last two towns and they appear to be upper Paleozoic to Lower Mesozoic clastics. Ideal oil and gas hunting grounds.
From there, we’d head north-northeast towards Yangwon. There appeared to be some fair to excellent outcrops of rocks that are as of yet, unidentified as to age. From there, we’d continue to follow the outcrop belts either to their termination at the basin’s edges or at international borders with China or Russia.
But, once we hit the field, time goes into relative warp. Put a bunch of geologists out on some relatively virgin outcrops and just stand back as they spend hour after hour after hour first looking for evidence of the formation’s provenance, it’s age and field relations. Then begin the heartfelt, stalwart, and sometimes vicious, arguments between all concerned about each and every one of those salient points.
We were all looking forward to it and wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s our intellectual and scientific equivalent of meat and potatoes.
We all agreed on a way forward and generated a document to deliver to those in charge of our logistics on this trip. There would be a total of 11 Western geoscientists, four guides, perhaps a couple of national geologists or geophysicists, and whatever cadre the shiny suit squad wanted to include.
There would also be a driver, his relief, and a couple of extra translators. Good thing it was a large bus, as it’s going to be a huge crew.
We needed to allow our handlers a full day to arrange room and board for us while in the field, as we had to be bivouacked somewhere outside our fine hotel. It needed to be secure, pass sanctuary muster, and be ‘controllable’, referring to both Western scientists and nosy locals.
One thing we found odd was the lack of concern for long-term logistics, not to mention the end of our self-ordained indentured servitude. When this trip and all the Western geoscientists were contacted, we were all assured of an opportunity to meet with the Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-Un once our trip was completed.
We were to personally deliver one hell of an international photo-op. A ‘hey look how progressive we are’ meeting and our findings in this wonderful and progressive country.
But lately, with what we thought was the fallout of the Festival washing out all the usual propaganda, we’ve heard nothing about Herr Comrade Leader Supremo, K1J1-Un. Nor had we heard one iota about our intended final meeting with him before we left for China.
Since there are “absolutely no” COVID-19 cases in Best Korea, it seemed, well, odd that Beijing was our only possible current exit port of call, and onward to our individual homes.
There were all flavors of rumors flying all throughout the basement bars and casinos of the hotel. One claimed that Kim was now receiving treatment at a villa in the Mount Myohyang resort north of the capital Pyongyang after cardiovascular surgery. That he was near death and that his sister, Kim Yo Jong, is already warming up in the North Korean political bullpen if her brother kacks it.
Others said Kim is believed to be staying at an unspecified location outside of Pyongyang, with some close confidants. It was said that Kim appeared to be normally engaged with state affairs and there has not been any unusual movement or emergency reaction from North Korea's governing party, military, or cabinet.
There was also one other that tries to cover up any conspiracy rumors by shouting over a raspy bullhorn: "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"; but most ignored that little crank.
We all thought that rather odd, but of fairly low concern. In the final analysis, it would have little impact on our studies and their outcome. In other words, it wouldn’t affect our pay one way or the other. We all felt like we’ve given more than what was called for on missions such as this.
And we still haven’t a clue as to when this will all come to an end.
However, we all agreed to the consultation, it would have been fun to meet with him and have our pictures taken with the Supreme Leader. Dr. Academician Ivan Ivanovich Khimik. was especially cheesed that he might miss the opportunity to make finger-vee bunny ears behind the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces of the DPRK during one of our photo sessions.
We all agree if we do somehow find ourselves in the same room with Ivan and Kim Jong-Un, we’ll form a human shield around the latter. We want to get back home; as we’ve all heard the rumors of the horrors of ‘political realignment’ camps here in Best Korea.
So the meeting breaks up and I’m left with Dax to take the final inventory. Two loads of sandwiches gone, piles of used napkins, ketchup-y table linens, bacon rinds and chicken bones, drippy ends of ice cream cones, prune pits, peach pits, orange peel, gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal, pizza crusts, and withered greens, soggy beans and tangerines, crusts of black burned buttered toast, gristly bits of beefy roasts…
“The hell with this”, I say, I grab the last nearly full bottle of vodka and hand Dax a bottle of Royal Navy dark Rum.
“Tally’s good”, I say, not really giving two tiny shits at this point. “At least, I think it is. Let’s make like horseshit and hit the trail.”
“I’m headed back to our floor and going to zone out in front of some old, looped BBC for the next few hours with a cold drink and hot cigar.” I proclaim.
“Oh, hell”, Dax says, “I agree. It’s been a weird couple of days. Let’s go.”
And so we do.
On the way, I leave the logistics concerns and itinerary for the upcoming field trips with the front desk clerk. I slip her 1000 won as its Festival! and I had a bulgy pocketful of same. She smiled and quietly said there’s be a surprise waiting for me in my room when I got there.
“Rock, you fucking old hound!”, Dax exclaimed as he punched me lightly on the shoulder. “Taking a dip in the hotel secretarial pool?”
“Dax, you surprise me”, I said in my defense, “I have been, and continue to be, happily married for the last 38 years to the most loving, most intelligent, most well-connected, and most accurate snap-shot with a Glock .380 Automatic I know of.”
“Well, me ol’ mucker”, Dax smiles slyly, “If one has been happily married for 38 years, one must have a little something on the side. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge, ‘eh, Squire?”
“Oh, nothing like that”, I replied, while waiting the obligatory 30 minutes for the fucking elevator to arrive. “I couldn't break my word to Esme, and not because I don’t believe in a God that will send me to Hell without an electric fan or because it's not the right thing to do. I simply don't want to. A man is only as good as his word; and if he loses that, he loses too much. I couldn’t function without people thinking that I’m square and on the level. My business would crumble to dust. As would my marriage.”
“Yeah, there is that”, Dax agrees, “You say something is going to happen and God damn, it fucking happens. That’s what makes you honest and honestly scary.”
I stare intently at the annunciator that tells me the fucking elevator is stuck on 4 again.
“You’re not mob, are you?” Dax harshly whispers, snickeringly.
I turn to face Dax and smile wistfully.
Я с уважением отказываюсь отвечать, потому что я искренне верю, что мой ответ может обвинить меня”, I reply quietly.
“What the hell does that mean?” Dax demands.
“I respectfully decline to answer because I honestly believe my answer might tend to incriminate me”, I calmly reply.
“Oh, look. Bloody elevator’s finally here.” I note and stride aboard.
Dax gets caught up in the tsunami of the crowd and is carried bodily inside. It was so remorseless, he almost lost his grip on his bottle of Dark Rum.
Up on ‘our’ floor, I go to key open my room. Dax is just down the hall and looking around to see what special surprise might show up. I was too tired to wait so I just push in, and see all my field clothes fully laundered, pressed, and either folded or hanging.
Someone broke into my room during the day and committed a compound neatness.
“POUND! Pound! POUND!” Hmm, appears to be someone at my door.
“Yes, Dax?” I said.
“You too?” he fumed, “Everything, cleaned to within an inch if its life. They even polished my bloody field boots.”
“Oh, fuck”, I said and ran to find mine re-pristinized.
“FUCK! FUCK! FUCKITYFUCKFUCK!” I swore. They had polished my field boots and removed the fine years-of-work-to-acquire near-subsurface of the leather’s oil layer. They polished the water-proofing and conditioning out of the leather of our boots.
“OK. OK.”, I said, “Minor emergency. Cool out. I have the solution.”
I toss Dax a small can. It was brown, oily, and claimed to be “Neatsfoot oil”. It was the SPF- 500 of field leathers.
“Go ahead and oil them up with that”, I told Dax, “I’ve got another can, so don’t worry. Use what you need, don’t be shy, but if there’s any left, let me know. I’ll combine ours and offer it to anyone else in the team who had their boots steam-cleaned.”
So, a bit later, I’m sitting on my hotel room’s floor, on several sheets of newspaper, rubbing Neatsfoot Oil into my ancient, multinational size 16 EEE Vasque™ Tracker field boots.
Then there’s a knock at the door.
“It’s open. Enter carefully”, I say aloud.
It’s a bell clerk with a room service cart. On the cart are a bucket of ice, a bowl of sliced limes, I think, several gimlet glasses, some Best Korean ‘Air Koryo’ carbonated citrus drink, and a fresh bottle of “Kaesong” vodka.
“Compliments of the front desk”, the bellman says.
I stand up, tip him a few thousand won, and set a new record in mixology; a fresh brace of drinks in less than 7.3 seconds.
I offer the bellman the lighter one and he accepts with a wide smile.
I say “건배” (geonbae) literally means 'empty glass', which is similar to the expression 'bottom's up'. For you see, my Korean’s coming along a treat.
We clink glasses and send those drinks to the places that they’ll do the best.
The bellman smiles offloads the cart onto the table in my room, shakes my hand, and departs.
I finish my boots, my drink, and my cigar. After another drink or seven, I crater early. Dax was right; it had been a long, weird day.
The next day, Festival! is still going strong, but still no word on the whereabouts of El Líder Supremo. I find that odd, only slightly interesting, and since it will impact the day’s events zero, I file it away for maybe later use.
I go to the hotel pool around 0530 and there’s no one there. I’m able to get in a good 100 laps, unburdened with either small talk or by yammering kids blocking my lanes. I go early as I don’t wear gloves in the water, obviously. Statistically, there is less chance there will be others, adults and kids included, that would get freaked out by my gnarly left hand. I really don’t feel like recounting the old Russian Rig Accident story again.
After a brisk shower and double shower-scotch back in my room, I dress casually and wander down to the casino and bar level. It’s essentially breakfast time, but with the revelers not giving two hoots to AM vs. PM, it’s surprisingly busy. I find a perch up on Mahogany Ridge and order a classical breakfast cocktail of one liter of beer and 100 milliliters of chilled vodka.
I see Mr. Ho is manning the bar. I ask him to ring the massage parlor down the hall and see if Ms. Nang Bo-Hee is free sometime this morning.
He does and reports that she has an open hour and a half at 0900. Would I like it or any portion of that time?
“I’ll take the lot”, I said. “Tell them I’ll be there spot on 0900.”
“That’s great.”, Mr. Ho says, hanging up the phone, “Doctor Rock, they tell me that with the Festival discount and you taking the full 90 minutes, they can cut you a very special deal.”
“I’ll bet”, I replied, “Like what?”
“Oh, I cannot say for they did not tell me”, he smiled, “They will tell you when you arrive.”
“Marvelous”, I exhaled tiredly. “Another, Mr. Ho; make it a double, if you would please.”
The massage center here is run by a group not employed directly by the hotel. It’s a separate entity altogether. They run specials and have different discount programs that are not only not controlled nor advertised by the hotel, but they’re also not in any way beholden to the hotel, except for rent, I suppose and run it like their own little fiefdom.
Ms. Nang, my preferred masseuse, is a little, tiny Korean lassie about 5 feet tall and probably all of 90 pounds soaking wet. However, she is amazingly well trained and could probably put me in the hospital for a lengthy visit with her wiles and methods of flesh, bone, and muscle manipulation.
She offers a whole suite of different massage genres: Swedish, hot stone, aromatherapy, deep tissue, sport, trigger point, reflexology, shiatsu, Thai, and Rolfing.
Oh, fuck. I know Rolfing. I tried that nonsense back in grad school with an old east Indian lady that could have linebackered for the Minnesota Vikings. That shit fucking hurt. Today, it’d incapacitate me permanently. That’s a definite no-go.
I decide that it’s going to be the Hot Stone-treatment today. A geological-manipulation inquiry.
At 0900 I’m the only client at the massage ‘store’. It’s early, day two of the festival, and people are either sleeping off the previous night’s festivities or too wobbly to even think of partaking in a massage.
I’ve had several major back surgeries over the years, including one bilateral laminectomy about seven years ago that removed 7.5 kilos of overgrown bone and muscle from my lumbar region, so I’ve been very cautious about soliciting a massage. The masseuse has to know that area is strictly verboten and will do everything to avoid annoying that particular piece of bodily real-estate.
I’ve walked or limped out of massages before where the practitioner said they understood my reticence, but went ahead and kneaded and provoked that land of keloids and deep-body scar tissue.
However, based on past experience, Ms. Nang knows full well my reluctance as well as my desires. That’s the reason I’m returning. She’s very, very good; a consummate professional and has a never-ending series of jokes and observations while she’s pummeling you into submission.
Today, we retire to a private cubicle and she hands me a small robe or napkin, not sure which, of Korean manufacture.
She tells me to get au natural and to wear the robe while she prepares the tools of her trade.
OK, I’m not a small person; not by a long shot. This robe, however, is made for a sprite, not even for a small person.
She returns to our massage cubicle as I’m sitting there, at the end of the massage table, sipping my drink clad only in my dapper red-and-white checkered boxers.
“You need to be unclothed, Doctor. Use the robe. OK, sir Rock?” she says.
“Ms. Nang,”, I said, shaking my head, “It’s one or the other.” I show her how laughable the robe is as I can’t even get it over my upper arm. It’s not even as a tea towel when it comes to covering my expansive acres of exposed epidermis.
“I can close door.”, she says, “I’m used to it. I am professional. Does not bother me if it does not bother you.”
I lost all forms of bashfulness, timidity, or prudery long, long ago. After years and years of Russian banya, Swedish massage, Turkish baths, and surgery; well, if it don’t bother you, it don’t bother me.
“OK”, I say, using the robe as a small two-dimensional breechcloth. She tells me to ‘hop’ up on the massage table and lie down, facing the floor.
After chuckling about the fact that I haven’t hopped for decades, I wander over to the nicely padded and extremely clean massage table and lie down. She rearranges the ‘robe’ to cover my backside and tells me to relax. She’ll be right back with the stones.
I’ve never tried this type of massage before, but as a geologist, I must; if for nothing else, progress in the name of science.
Ms. Nang returns with a large parcel consisting of many sizes of steamed stones. They were river-washed and tumbled basalt from the looks of them, all wrapped in a large fuzzy towel.
Now she finds the large towels…
She selects them one by one and places them in ‘special, strategic’ spots on my exposed back. From the lower 2/3rds of the nape of the neck, down the spine, over the fundus mountains, and down the back of each leg.
It’s a warm, almost hot in some places, but not an uncomfortable feeling. She returns to adjust them, grind them in a bit in places, and flip them to extract all that igneous lithological thermal goodness.
I have to admit, at that point, it was feeling quite delightful. Relaxed; I had my drink and was being kneaded My dorsal musculature was being de-lithified by the application of hot rocks and expert point massage.
All was going quite well as Ms. Nang was building a huge tip in her ‘job well done’ bank.
Then the rocks had all attained room temperature. She excused herself to reload with another minor outcrop’s-worth and told me to flip over for round two of the process.
“In for a dime, in for a dollar”, I said, as I flipped over and use the robe as a laughable forward-facing breechcloth.
Ms. Nang mentioned that she was always fascinated by Westerners and their surplus of bodily fuzz. With my long, shoulder-length silver hair, full Grizzly Adams beard that drooped down to my sternum, and torso that picked up where my beard left off; she was quite unprepared to see the beached silver-gray panda that awaited upon her return.
“Dr. Rock!’, she exclaimed, “You are as a bear! So much hair. And silver color!”
“Yeah, sorry”, I replied, “Just the hand genetics dealt me. I guess it’s an adaptation for ethanol-fueled organisms that never feel cold.”
“I will soon return.” She titters excitedly and almost runs out of the room.
“Hmmm. I wonder what that’s all about?” I muse as I lie largely undraped in the massage cubicle.
Suddenly, the door bursts open and every female massage practitioner there herded into the room. They simply had to see the specimen upon which the delightful Ms. Nang was working.
OK, truth be told, I was a bit taken aback. Here I am lying on an elevated, and heavily padded, massage table. I’m ‘wearing’ only a crooked, worried grin and a sheet of a cotton washcloth that measures about 12x12 inches.
They Oohed! and Ahhhed!
I did feel like some form of an alien animal suddenly thrust out into public view. It was a bit disconcerting, but as usual, I just tried to deflect any unease with jokes and idiot remarks. At my age, not much is going to bother me, and this I found all the more laughable than troubling.
Suddenly, I was fielding their barrage of questions:
“You are American? All American men so…hairy?”
“Yes and no”, I replied. I also mentioned I hadn’t undertaken a study in that particular subject.
“Why you so big?” one tiny lass asked, eyes as big as dinner plates.
“Genetics”. I replied. “Just a corn-fed Baja Canadian doofus. We grow ‘em big back home.”
“Can we touch?” one particularly brave little lass asks.
“Touch what?” I asked. Look, I might be over 6 decades old, but there are still some areas reserved for my one and only betrothed.
I did tell Esme of this whole event later that evening during our nightly call. She laughed herself silly.
“Your beard! Oriental men never have such beard. We touch maybe?” she implored.
I was going to say “Go nuts”, but I decided that a simple “Sure” would be more fitting.
So they did. They were enthralled. They had never before, from what I was told, seen such a large silver-gray ZZ Top-style beard, especially here at the hotel. That part was weird enough, but when they started in on working their way south toward the equator, I had to say something to dissuade them.
“Where were you girls 45 years ago?” I laughed.
I don’t think they got the joke. They became somewhat bolder in their austral exploratory activities.
“OK! Time out! Ms. Nang! We have an appointment to keep”, I said as I shooed the rest of the lassies away, “We need to finish what we started.”
By the time that the third syllable of that last sentence came into being, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to say.
They all laughed and tittered as Ms. Nang ushered them out of the room. I could have sworn I heard the door lock behind them.
Ms. Nang reprieved her earlier stone placement therapy, with a couple of strategic detours.
She wasn’t that type of masseuse, and I wasn’t looking for that type of massage. She did, however, knead and pummel me mercilessly.
I’ve been bruised less from barroom brawls.
Finally, she announces that she’s finished. She’ll leave while I shower, as she used essential aromatic oils, and would await me out in the lobby.
After showering, I felt like a large bowl of pummeled Jello. I felt relaxed, and for the first time in weeks, my back was silent. My head was clear as a spring Sunday morn in Reykjavik.
The full 90 minutes, plus sideshow, was 4,500 won.
I paid the owner the required sum and handed Ms. Nang an additional 15,000 for a job well done. And for another anecdote that goes into the hopper.
I left the massage parlor feeling quite fine, thank you. I wandered over to the bar to see if I could augment and prolong this feeling of harmony with the universe. The mental picture even now of all those cooing Korean lassies in the massage room never fails to elicit a laugh and head shake.
A few hours later, I’m back in my room, tidying up my field notes and making certain all my paperwork was heavily encoded and up to date. It was, so I placed a number of expensive overseas calls to catch up with everyone on the outside.
I’m thinking of calling room service to have my mini-bar repaired when my room phone rings.
“Now who would be calling me at this hour?” I wondered.
It was the tour group leader. He informed me that the itinerary had been worked out and we’d be leaving tomorrow for the field at 0600. We were to arrive with all our luggage and be prepared to check out. We would spend at least a week in the field, if not two, depending on our results, and be bivouacking in different places in the interior of the country.
I thanked him for the information and said I’d inform the rest of the team. He told me that wouldn’t be necessary as they would come up to or floor, deliver the notice verbally, or by note if they were out of their rooms. If I wanted to later call each participant and ensure they were apprised of the situation, that would be most appreciated.
I assured him I would do so and that we’d be ready, to a man, at 0600 the next day.
I whip up 10 Post-it™ notes and stick one on each member’s door.
“Leaving for the field. Check out 0530. Wheels up 0600. Bring all luggage. Road trip!”
To be continued…
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submitted by DealsCanada to ShopCanada [link] [comments]

Truck Drivers have some of the Best Stories: Drive Like a Girl [part 1]

I'm going to apologize in advance for the length of this post as there's no short way to tell it without splitting it in two. My name is Ripley and your OP has graciously allowed me to tell my story. Again, I'm so, so sorry.
Love at first sight, most folks think it’s a myth, more likely its Lust at first sight and the feelings grow from prolonged familiarity with the object of your infatuation. Truth be told, this is probably how most relationships begin. This relationship was no exception. I was driving for a nationwide company that had me on a regional haul, up and down the Mississippi corridor was my territory, I usually hauled things that wouldn’t be allowed on the river itself, Hazmat, things like that.
My name is Ripley, Yes, my parents were huge Ridley Scott fans back in the day and I am indeed named after Sigourney Weaver’s character in the Alien film series. Not a bad role model to have growing up as a painfully shy brunette who barely sprouted tits at age 17, in rural Wisconsin. Most of the girls I was surrounded by had the bodies of full grown women by the time they were 14. It was embarrassing as fuck, especially when the boys you choose to have crushes on decide to join in the torment by saying that Ripley isn’t just your name, it’s your figure, like a warped board, thin, flat and Ripley, that was me. The only difference between me and a board was that I was in no danger of getting nailed anytime soon.
That was fine with me after a certain point. I realized I was more attracted to girls by the time I hit 14, the boys were my parents idea and I humored my mom when she’d point out a “cute guy” and I would look along with her, but my eyes were usually drawn to the girl on his arm. The toughest times were changing for gym and feeling the strange stirrings in my nether regions and the butterflies in my stomach when another girl would stand there, completely confident in her nakedness, rambling on as if we were girlfriends hanging out in the food court at the mall, talking about boys. I found it difficult not to stare at their breasts while they spoke and would usually avert my eyes, focused on something really interesting in my locker.
I was so ashamed of my body that I was made fun of for wearing a bathing suit in the shower. I tried not to shower with the other girls because even though they mistook my arousal for being cold, it was still humiliating, “Ladies! Come see the tit-less wonder as she tries to mimic the teacher’s stapler and stick herself to the wall with her nipples!” “Watch as she cuts glass with her moundless nubbins!” God, teenage girls are rotten cunts.
I wanted to go to college but my folks just couldn’t afford it. Financial aid would have put me in debt up to my eyeballs, so I did what I could, I joined the Marines. I was a BAM through and through, I sprouted muscles instead of tits. I got hit on by more guys in the Corps than you’d believe. Either I really looked good to them or those guys were fucking desperate. Either way, I tried dating guys, even had sex with one or two. I wasn’t impressed and I’ve come to the conclusion that dicks are gross. I tried Mom… I really did, sorry, no grandkids from me.
I served my 4 years and got out. I thought about going to college right then but I decided to see the country a bit. All the deployments in the Corps filled me with a bit of wanderlust. So I started this job, driving.
So here we are, back in the present, so to speak. I’d been driving for a few years when I landed this gig. I love the Mississippi River Valley. All the way from the Delta in NOLA to the navigable headwaters all the way up in Minnesota. There’s so many different kinds of people and cultures and they just become a blur of beautiful humanity, Norwegians and Dutch in the north to the Cajun, French and every other culture that has made a home in that region.
For the most part, the people of this region are very friendly and accommodating, and, in particular, the women of the delta, my gawd, girls in New Orleans are very, very liberal and friendly. Life is hard enough as a female truck driver without your male counterparts giving you shit for being a “Muff-Munching-Bull-Dyke”. First of all, I’m far from a bull-dyke. I’m about as girly as lesbians come, the only things that meet their description are my occupation and that I love women as much as they do. Secondly, I’m more into receiving oral than giving, so I don’t do too much munching.
That being said, I will make exceptions for the right woman. I think I found her. I was having lunch at the Huddle House in the Palace Truck Stop & Casino, right there off Old Gentilly Rd. in New Orleans. I stop there every time I’m in NOLA because their hash browns are phe-nom-nom-nom-enal.
I was sitting at the counter looking at the menu, just for shits and giggles, I know what I’m ordering before I even walk in the place so looking at the menu is just a formality. I heard a voice from behind my menu, a new voice, almost intoxicating from the start. “Coffee Darlin?” I slowly lowered the menu, and before my eye was one of the most beautiful creatures the creator put on this earth. Now, I know that if you saw her, she might be a little bit plain Jane for this description to fit. For me however, she was perfection. Strawberry-blonde pixie-cut, green eyes the color of an old Mt. Dew bottle, cute button of a nose and the bowed lips, smiling right at me. “Coffee, yes… coffee and a glass of water, please.” Even with the amount of life I had under my belt, I was terribly awkward around pretty girls, still.
“Hi, I’m Barrett” she held out her delicate hand, which I gladly took, “Hi… I-I’m R-Ripley…”. GODDAMMIT, why did I have to stutter like an idiot NOW? She stared at me with an astonished look. “Shut the front door, Ripley? Like… Ellen Ripley?” I hung my head a little bit. “Yeah, my folks are huge Sci-fi/Horror fans. Say, what kind on name is Barrett, for a girl anyway?” She giggled then and it was a sound like the wind chimes in the gentlest summer breeze.
“Looks like our folks were both fans of Ms. Weaver, My parents named me after Dana Barrett, her character in Ghostbusters.” By this time, my heart was hammering so hard in my chest that it was hard to hear her. “That’s weird and crazy.” She seemed to catch herself then, “Oh my, Ripley, let me get your coffee and water, you know what you want, or do you need a minute?” I gave her my order and let her get about her job, I didn’t want to get her in trouble. I tried not to watch her the whole time, but she made it difficult. She looked to be about five-three, and I guessed about a hundred and twenty pounds. Next to my five-nine and one hundred and fifty pounds, she was so tiny, and adorable, and… snap out of it Ripley, jesus.
The owner walked in then, “Rip! How’s it hangin girlfriend?” Internally, I sighed exasperatedly. “Hey Will, how goes it?” “Dandy! Haulin the daaaaangerous stuff?” Will was a goofy fucker, but a likable guy for the most part. Probably the most closeted queen I’ve ever met. He proclaimed his straightness with a fervor usually reserved for suicide bombers, but I’m fairly certain he was the only one who didn’t know exactly how gay he was. “Have you met the new girl, Barrett? Barrett! Honey, get over here sweet cheeks!” I turned my head in her direction and expected her to look mortified, she was smiling and practically skipping my direction.
“Yes sir, what can I do for ya boss-man?” A more chipper ray of sunshine there wasn’t. “Barrett, darlin, this here, is Ms. Ripley, long time customer, salt of the earth gal and certifiable badass, lives up to her namesake, isn’t that right Marine?” His mouth dropped open as he looked at me. He went full-on queen mode when he saw my face, “Well, Bless my stars and bars! Ripley, are you BLUSHING?”
I quickly excused myself and rushed to the bathroom, I was practically hyperventilating when I sat on the bench opposite the mirrors. Jesus-fuck Ripley, get your shit together. I heard the creak of the bathroom door and quickly stood and walked to the sink, running water, I splashed myself with cold water, when I stood, Barrett was there, behind me.
“Are you alright?” her eyebrows were raised in genuine concern. I cleared my throat, “y-yeah (dammit), I’m fine, Will is just a bit much for me sometimes.” She laughed, “HA! Tell me about it, try being related to him, he’s my Mom’s little brother.” That made me laugh as well, “Oh dear god , you poor thing.” I sat on the bench, “I’m sorry about that earlier, I usually don’t get that flustered, it’s just…” She sat next to me on the bench. “Look, I’m not a forward person, at all.” I was looking at my hands as she reached over and took one of them, “Ripley, I get off at 3, so in (she looked at her watch) about 2 hours. Be here.” With that, she gave me a peck on the cheek and strolled out of the bathroom. What. Just. Happened?
I had two hours, I mentioned I’m a girly-girl, right? Barely enough time to get ready. I rushed to my truck, grabbed my toiletry kit, my makeup bag, thought about the humidity, stowed the makeup, thought better of it and grabbed the makeup again. I bring about 2 dresses with me on the road, not because I’m expecting a date, but because if I’m going to be somewhere for a day or two, I tend to like to feel like a woman, off the truck, scrubbed up and presentable. I went to the showers and shaved every stray hair from the armpits down, not that I was confident of getting laid or anything, hell, I didn’t even know if Barrett was being anything but friendly, but if I’m wearing a dress, it’s gotta go! I washed my hair and combed it out, its natural waviness let it drop to about the small of my back. I checked my eyebrows, they were ok. Protip: If you EVER want to freak a girl out, just occasionally glance up at her eyebrows questioningly. It’s a brutal mind-fuck that I reserve for my most reviled enemies.
I grabbed my stuff and stowed my gear back in the truck. I grabbed a pair of heels but stowed a pair of flip-flops in my small backpack/purse, just in case we were going to be doing a lot of walking. I want to at least look pretty, but I don’t want to hurt my feet, (insert joke about lesbians with comfortable shoes here). I had about 20 minutes to wait for Barrett to get off, so I went to the restaurant and had a seat at the counter, the looks of other regulars who had never seen me in a dress were hilarious, they didn’t recognize me at first. Will came up to the counter and asked “What can I ge…. Holy Shit!, Rip? Ohmygawd, you’re a girl!” I laughed, “Thanks for noticing, dick.”
Barrett came in from the walk-in freezer and shivered, she saw me and her mouth dropped open, she mouthed the word “Wow”, it was too much, I felt a flush creep up my spine and down my arms. “I… uh..I got the freezer restocked” she was staring at me, Will noticed how we were locked in this gaze and cleared his throat. “A-hem, I, uh… think you’re good to go Bear-bear. Give Uncle Will a hug before you go.” She did then ran off to get changed. Will turned his eyes on me. “Rip, she’s a young lady, 19, I want you to realize that and I also want you to know, I approve, but if you hurt her, I’ll cut your balls off.” He swooped in and pecked me on the cheek. “Now get out of here and stop eye-fucking each other in the restaurant, people are trying to eat.”
I looked up and Barrett was waving me to the door. Outside, she motioned for me to do a turn, which I humored. “My sweet baby jesus, Ripley, you are gorgeous! I mean, I thought you were pretty in the jeans and tank-top, but damn.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and my chest hurt a little, probably because my heart was beating the shit out of my ribs. “Stop it, you’re going to make me faint from all the blood rushing to my face, you want me constantly blushing?” I looked at what she was wearing, capris and a t-shirt, I was ok with that. She reached in her purse and pulled out a key fob, “Hop in, we’re stopping by my place so I can change.”
I hopped in her tiny Mini-Cooper, “Mom let me borrow it until I get a newer car, my Prius died last week.” As she drove the 15 minutes to her apartment just off Tulane University campus, she explained how she was a student in their pre-nursing program, “Mom has been a nurse longer than I’ve been alive and she’s always been my hero, I’ve wanted to do this since I was a little crawdad.”
We had so much in common, but a lot of differences, she was a popular girl in school, but never dated boys, she said she’s known she liked girls since about 7th grade, but had never been in a serious relationship until her senior year. It ended badly when her girlfriend moved to Ohio for college and started seeing someone else. “Columbus has a large LGBT population and she just… grew into herself I guess, and outgrew me.” She sighed then, it sounded like it still bothered her, a lot.
“What about you? Any relationships?” I told her no, not really. “I tried dating boys when I was in denial, it didn’t work out.” I grimaced. She laughed. “I touched one, once. That’s all it took, it was too weird. I like mine with batteries and no feelings attached, thanks.”
We parked on the street a few blocks from her place and walked, she took my hand and led the way, in the building and up to the second floor room garden apartment that was her sanctum. She immediately flopped on the couch and flung her shoes into the air. “Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Oh man, that feels good!” She patted a cushion near her head and said “sit”. I did. Ever since I laid eyes on her, I’d wanted to touch her, I reached out a hand and ran my fingers through her short, strawberry-blonde hair.
She let out a luxuriant groan, “Ohhhhhhhhhhmgawd, yes…. Right there.” And began shaking her leg like a dog when you scratch just the right spot, she caught me off guard and I didn’t laugh, I guffawed so hard that I snorted, we desolved into giggles like best friends at a sleepover. It was the first time I’ve ever felt this comfortable with another human being.
After just sitting there for a while she sat up an announced, “Well, I’m gong to hop in the shower and get that greasy spoon off me. Then we can go somewhere. I’ll be right back. Unless you just wanna come in there and talk while I get ready.” I went in with her and watched her as she stripped off her clothes nonchalantly and hopped in the glass-doored shower.
Her body was sheer perfection in my eyes, from the faint tan lines on her breasts and ass, to the little tiny heart tattoo on her left hip. I felt a bit dizzy with adoration for this girl, this woman I’d just met, it seemed crazy and I actually pinched myself, “Ow!” she jumped as I had been silent for a minute while she washed her hair. “what was that? Are you ok?” I rubbed the spot where I’d pinched myself and told her I was fine as I watched the bubbles trail down her well muscled legs. “So, what do you want to do? I’ve got 72 hours before I have to get back on the road.”
“That long?” she sounded pleasantly surprised as she finished rinsing and shut off the water, “Hand me those two towels, please.” I did and we made plans for the evening. As we were leaving her apartment, I felt like I was being watched, Barrett stiffened a little as she locked her door and I looked at her questioningly. She shook her head ever so slightly and walked down the stairs at a speed that probably wasn’t best for her heels. Outside, she shuddered in the balmy night air, “The guy across the hall, gives me the heebie-jeebies, it’s like I can feel him watching me through his peep hole.”
I told her I’d felt it too, she put her arm through mine and leaned on me a little as we walked to the corner where our Uber driver said he’d pick us up. It was a short ride to the French Quarter and our waiting reservation at Galatoir’s, but it was a good idea to catch a ride as the weekend festivities seemed to have already kicked off on Bourbon St. and we ended up walking the last 2 blocks to the restaurant, followed the whole way by wolf-whistles and shouted propositions. We held tight to each other’s hands and politely dismissed them all, giggling all the way.
I was on Cloud Nine as the evening went by in a blur, punctuated by flashes of flavor as course after course came our way, I was a bit tipsy from the wine we’d consumed and I was ready to go wherever, dancing, drinking, to a party, I didn’t care as long as Barrett was by my side. We left the restaurant later than I’d thought it was going to be and the revelry seemed to be in full swing. As we navigated our way through the crush of people, we were groped and pawed at from every direction, or at least I felt like it. My skin was crawling by the time we reached a break in the crowd, Barrett seemed to be having a similarly difficult time.
“Well, that was fun.” I laughed as I adjusted my dress back to the way it should be. We hopped a cab back to her place and she stopped me before we went in the building, pointing up at her balcony. The sliding door was slightly open and one of her lights was on. “The fuck, Ripley. We turned everything off and locked up tight, right?” To be honest, I was so caught up in her that I hadn’t noticed. “I think so” I pulled out my phone, “I’m calling the cops.” She held out a hand to stop me, then thought better of it. “Good idea, fuck, this night was going so well.”
I saw tears welling up in her eyes and pulled her close to me. I gave the address to the dispatcher and they stayed on the phone with me for the 5 minutes it took someone from NOLA PD to show up, along with a car from Tulane University Campus Security. “Who’s the resident?” asked a tall, skinny cop. Barrett raised her hand and he took her aside to ask questions for a moment before he and his partner went into the building with Barrett’s keys and her express permission to kick the shit out of whoever had violated her home. We stood on the edge of the sidewalk and watched as the lights came on in her apartment and we heard the cops announce their presence to whoever might still be in there.
One of the cops, the tall one, threw open the balcony door and rushed out, vomiting over the side of the wrought-iron railing. We both gasped at what we were seeing but still didn’t quite comprehend. The other cop walked out of the building and caught her breath. “Ms., do you own cats?” Her brow furrowed, “No officer, we can’t have pets, what the hell happened in there?” The cop gave her a look of sympathy as she led her further down the block. “It’s probably best that you don’t go in there right now. Somebody…” she gagged a little as if just thinking about what she’d seen was too much.
“Barrett, can I call you Barrett?” she nodded her assent, “Barrett, do you know anyone that might wish you harm?” Barrett shook her head, “No… No, nobody. Please, what is going on?”
Tears rimmed the officer’s eyes, “Honey, this is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen and I’ve been a cop for 12 years. Right now, I just think we should get a statement of your whereabouts and activities over the last 24 hours and, do you have somewhere to stay tonight?” I chimed in, “she can stay with me.” The officer nodded and made a phone call. “A detective will be calling you in the morning for your details.” She passed Barrett a card and handed Barrett her keys, minus her the one to her front door.
“I’m so sorry Ripley, I have no idea what’s going on, I.. I..” she burst into tears and threw her arms around my waist, her face buried in my shoulder. I led her away from the scene walking the few blocks to her car. “Where are we going to stay? You said I could stay with you tonight.” I pulled her closer, “We can get a hotel, or we could stay in my truck, it’s up to you.” She seemed to think it over for a bit as I unlocked her car and opened the passenger door for her. “I’ve never stayed in a truck before, I think it’d be fun.” I smiled and put her car in drive, glad for once that the Corps had turned me into a neat freak.
It was a brief drive to the truck stop and I parked her car near the Huddle House and we walked to my truck. I noticed a black minivan trailing behind us, after the events of the night, it unnerved me a bit, so I took us a roundabout way through the maze of trucks and trailers, ducking between them when I noticed no followers. I got us to my truck and helped Barrett inside.
I shut the door and threw the curtains, peeking out in time to see that same black minivan cruising slowly down the aisle. “Well, that was an adventure, what was that all about?” I shushed her as the van cruised by. “Do you know anyone who owns a black minivan?” I saw her brow furrow in concentration, even in the darkness of my truck cab. “Black minivan, Ripley, what’s going on?”
“I think someone is following us. Is there something you should have told the cops? Is there someone they should be looking at, like an ex, or someone you turned down, anything?” She looked scared, “No, nothing! I swear, I haven’t been in a relationship or anything since my ex moved to Ohio. I’ve had the occasional offer from both guys and girls alike, but no, nothing stands out.” I mulled that over and got my phone out again, “I think we should call the police.” She sat on the bottom bunk in my sleeper, “Can you get the license plate or something, tell them about it in the morning? I just want some peace right now.”
I’d met Barrett less than 12 hours earlier and here I was, making decisions for her, I cared for this girl. Too much? Too fast? “I’m sorry, but I can’t be negligent about this, as crazy as it sounds, I care for you Barrett. I don’t want a missed opportunity to stop whatever is going on before it goes too far, do you understand me?” I dialed the number on the card she handed me. “Officer Beauman.” It was the same officer, good. “Officer, my name is Ripley, I was with Barrett, the girl whose apartment you and your partner responded to earlier this evening.” There was a pause.
“Yes, I remember you. How can I help you?” I told her the situation and I heard the sirens fire up in the background. “Can you two stay where you are? We’re on our way now, we meant to call her in the morning but under the circumstances, I’ll tell you what’s going on.”
I told the officer to hold on a second and put the phone on speaker, “Go ahead officer, Barrett can hear you.” There was a pause on the other end, only the wail of the sirens could be heard. A man spoke, “Barrett, does the name Chrissy Seaquist mean anything to you?” There was a sharp intake from Barrett, “Omg, Chrissy, she’s my ex, but what does she have to do with this? She moved to Ohio over a year ago.” Another pause,
“Barrett, this may come as a bit of a shock, but it seems Chrissy’s parents filed a missing person’s report two months ago, she disappeared from Ohio State campus, without a trace. Tonight, as we were processing your apartment, we found fingerprints and they immediately flagged under that missing person’s report.
We were sure that Chrissy was the subject we were going to look for in connection with the vandalizing of your apartment.” I sensed a “but”. “However, when we started clearing your apartment we found… we fragments of human remains Barrett, we found the hand of Chrissy Seaquist in your bed Barrett. We have some questions for you and (pause) Ripley.”
I looked at the phone in disbelief, “Look, officers, We’re not going anywhere but if you’d be so kind as to get here most Rikki-tikki, and check out this black van, it’d be greatly appreciated.” I gave them my truck description and ID numbers and got off the phone.
“In the meantime.” I told Barrett, “I better stow this”. I took my Springfield XD .40 and stuck in in the hidden lock box under my bunk. Barrett’s eye widened, “You had a gun on you this whole time?” I laughed and kissed her. “Honey, you don't last in the real world by being a sheep.” We lay on the bed and held each other and waited for the cops to show up.
Part 2
Final
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Black Bear Casino Resort Big Burger Bash - Timelapse Version 1 Black Bear Casino. Minasota - YouTube Black Bear Casino Resort - YouTube Grand Casino MN – Sandy Fun At Black Bear Casino Buffet 12/7/17 - YouTube Black Bear Casino Resort - YouTube

CARLTON, Minn. – Black Bear Casino Resort announced Thursday that it will be reopening next week. According to Black Bear’s website, they will be re-opening at 10:00 a.m. Monday, June 15. Black Bear Casino Resort is located in Carlton, Minnesota featuring an 88,000 square foot casino gambling floor, 2,000 slot machines, 20 table games, poker and a 408 room hotel with golf course. Address Black Bear Casino 1785 Highway 210 Carlton, Minnesota 55718 . Contact Information Tel: 218-878-2327 Tel: 888-771-0777 Website Enjoyed a nice stay at this casino. Even got in a round of Excellent golf ! ! Lots and Lots of slots with a little Black Jack. People were very friendly and security patrolled often through the lot and gave no trouble. Good location to see and do things in Duluth or a kick off point for going up the north shore. Good access to grocery and fuel. I stayed 3 nights. The Black Bear Casino Resort hotel tower rooms are open for guests. Click the link above to make reservations! For added safety, you can check in and out via text message on your mobile device. See full details here. The Pool Complex is closed until further notice. Hotel Reservations: call 1-888-771-0777. The Black Bear Casino Resort Hotel has your comfort in mind. We have 408 stylish rooms ... Updated: March 09, 2020 06:45 PM An incident Monday afternoon at the Black Bear Casino was not related to the double homicide over the weekend, according to the Carlton County Sheriff's Office. Black Bear Casino Resort is a resort in Minnesota. Black Bear Casino Resort is situated east of Iverson, close to AmericInn. blackbearcasinoresort.com +1 218-878-2327; Overview: Map: Photo Map: Satellite: Directions: Overview: Map: Photo Map: Satellite: Directions: Overview: Map: Photo Map: Satellite: Directions: Carlton Hotels. Travel Dates . Guests. Search. Find your ideal hotel in Carlton ... Minnesota Free Camping Carlton Black Bear Casino Resort Black Bear Casino Resort Parking Lot. Write a Review. 1785 MN-210 Carlton, MN 55718 218-878-2327 Official Website. GPS: 46.6642, -92.4803 Black Bear Casino Resort. Upload Photos View 1 Photo. Overview Q&A Cell Service; Reviews (4) Amenities Overview of Black Bear Casino Resort. Last Price Paid: $0. Reported by Monaco05 on 9/4/2020 ... Book Black Bear Casino Resort Hotel, Carlton on Tripadvisor: See 533 traveler reviews, 131 candid photos, and great deals for Black Bear Casino Resort Hotel, ranked #2 of 2 hotels in Carlton and rated 3 of 5 at Tripadvisor. Black Bear Casino, Carlton: Address, Phone Number, Black Bear Casino Reviews: 3.5/5 Welcome to Black Bear Casino Resort. Click below for your Online Rewards! Bear Mail Hotel offers are now accepted at Royal Pines Inn and First American Hotel & Suites! "It’s fun we stayed in the tower and that was really nice, our room was nice as well. The Players Club staff is very nice. The buffet is great, we love coming!" - Joanne J. "I really like the staff they are really ...

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Black Bear Casino Resort Big Burger Bash - Timelapse Version 1

Watch as the Black Bear Casino Resort team builds the world's biggest bacon cheeseburger. This world-record setting big burger measured 10 feet in diameter and weighed in at 2,014 pounds. Me, Mike, Ashley & Jerry Having Dinner & Fun At The Bear. Taking My Mind Off My Dad's Death. "Y'ALL COME BACK SALOON", Oak Ridge Boys, Black Bear Casino. Carlton, MN, April 19th, 2019 - Duration: 3:23. David Johnson Recommended for you This is the only thing I hit all weekend. Poor pay outs at this casino. Good service friendly people but I lost my shirt lol. We've taken the casino experience to a new level with our state of the art gaming floor! We have over 1,800 of the newest and best slot machines, blackjack, ... About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators ... Watch as the Black Bear Casino Resort team builds the world's biggest bacon cheeseburger. This world-record setting big burger measured 10 feet in diameter a...

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